1. |
Legend of the Bull Snake
02:54
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When I was a boy,
*He was a boy*
nearly a man,
*A Beastman*
exploring the woods in my North Country land!
*Minnesota*
My friends and I, well, we were out one night,
smoking cigars in the cover of the night
*Cigars in the cover of the night*
We wandered to
a rundown place.
*In the dark*
I couldn’t even see, the hand in front of my face
*No, no, no*
The only illumination, that we brought
was Bic lighter we should had forethought.
*A Bic lighter -- he should have had forethought.*
We heard we rustle
on the ground.
*What was that?*
We closed in upon it and then we all knelt down.
*On the ground*
We flicked on the light, and what came into sight?
A coiled up Bull Snake!
*A coiled up Bull Snake!*
They are not venomous.
This I know.
*Know, know, know*
But they act like the ones that are so.
*Hah* They jump,
*Hah* They bite,
*Hiss* Six Feet Long, and
Dark as the night.
I was terrified.
I was scared.
My friend dropped the lighter I was unprepared.
Darkness came in soon,
there was no moon.
The last thing I saw was a Bull Snake striking at me.
*In his pants he dribbled a couple of drops of pee!*
I cried out!
*Whoa, whoa, whoa*
I did move!
*Whoa, whoa, whoa*
I ran my buns off, I had something to prove,
*Whoa, whoa, whoa*
And I’m scared of snakes
*Whoa, whoa, whoa*
to this day
*Whoa, whoa, whoa*
and other reptilians that pass my way
Snakes are scary to me,
But bless those who study
herpetology!!
Bull Snake!
*hissss*
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2. |
That's What I Meant
03:37
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When I kissed your lips,
I meant to be true.
But woman, oh woman,
What else could I do?
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,
For the love we made and spent.
Whatever else I might have said,
You know that’s what I meant.
Now I’m on my own.
It’s a struggle to be free.
I can’t help but think about
The life that used to be.
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,
For the love we made and spent.
Whatever else I might have said,
That’s what I meant.
So many days and nights.
Oh, so many words
What’s the use of talkin’ at all
If no one else has heard?
I can’t hold your hand.
I can’t hear your voice
That says never, no, never,
No, never did I have no choice.
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,
For the love we made and spent.
Whatever else I might have said,
That’s what I meant.
That’s what I meant, baby.
Yes, that’s what I meant.
Whatever else
I might have said,
You know that’s what I meant.
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3. |
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Your Belt Buckle or Your Life
I was hitchhiking down a long lonesome highway,
midwinter, on Minnesota 135.
I had to pass through the heart of those Embarrass mountains,
in the dead of winter, when few things can survive.
There was a glow that looked like the aurora borealis,
a band of colors on the skyline, ghostly green and white.
It wasn't the northern lights, but a bright sixteen wheeler,
pulling over to rescue me from the night.
The trucker opened the door, and I climbed inside.
His face was in shadow, but I could see that he was barely alive.
I shut the door, and a chill dropped down my spine.
And I knew I might not survive.
The first thing I noticed was the cab was covered in belt buckles,
dangling from the ceiling and mounted to the dash.
I saw buckles from every state except for Minnesota,
so I slipped mine into my pocket. I knew I had to do something fast.
"Now I saw you got a Minnesota belt buckle
I'll make you a deal, since I saved you from the cold.
this here's my knife -- your buckle or your life!
Or you'll end up my eternal cargo. I'm hauling lost souls!"
Now I knew this ghost trucker was not to be trusted,
'cause if he made this deal with every hitchhiker
who were those poor lost souls riding in the back?
He trapped 'em all, but still had every one of their belt buckles. I was doomed, and knew what I must do.
"Now I might not be a real cowboy
but that don't mean I can't serve up a plate of Jut Keen Do.
I've seen every Bruce Lee movie,
and I know just enough Kung Fuey
to handle myself with a dusty ghoul like you."
I punched the trucker and his skull started to crumble.
We mustled and we russled, there was a tussle for that buckle!
He was no match for the Praying Mantis.
I opened the door and flung him into the cold.
Now I don't know how to drive a sixteen wheeler,
on frozen roads with turns coming up fast and tight.
I quickly jackknifed on the ice of old Lake Vermillion.
The ice cracked like a gunshot and water started rushing in.
Those poor lost souls the trucker had been hauling,
were suddenly free as the ice tore open the truck.
They flew out like the arc of the covenant
and those spirits disappeared into the northern lights!
I put that bag of belt buckles over my shoulders.
Time to hoof it home.
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4. |
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Some say that black bears aren’t mean
But if they fill their bellies full of french fries and kerosene
They come out searching for a meal
In their coal-black eyes the animal is revealed
That bear was full of people
Not whole people, only parts
That bear was full of people
Here’s where the story starts
Old Groaner was a bear
Hole in his neck, he gasped for air
You could hear him for miles around
If you were lost best not to be found
These guys they saw him at the dump
Shot him with a pellet gun to make him jump
With their arms around their girls
They felt just like they owned the world
But that bear was full of people
Not whole people, only parts
That bear was full of people
Keep a hand over your heart
Man don’t care if you live or die
It’s hard enough just to get by
Face to face with a credible threat
You take whatever you can get
Go ask one-eyed Eddie
Go ask two-toed Sue
Go ask three-fingered Sally
Bill’s in the hill with the view
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5. |
Branded.
03:38
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It starts with your baby shower.
It don't take long to feel their power.
OshKosh, Fisher Price.
They surround you with stuff and you feel so nice.
Little girls and little boys,
we teach 'em to want ponies and toys.
In a little while, they're gonna find
they need toys and ponies of a different kind!
I want that, Buy me that! The children say.
You know I need one, everyone's got one.
Sayin' it every day!
Branded.
Then you get older and things they get worse.
Insecurity, it's the teenage curse.
Your self-esteem, they're gonna tell you what it's worth.
Now drink this corn syrup girl, and open up that purse.
American Eagle and Abercrombie Fitch.
You're fronting that stuff so we think you're rich.
You got a bad feeling about it, you want to break away,
but they keep hitting you with it every day!
They breed anxiety to make you feel ugly and small.
They got a solution, it's the latest revolution.
Get it at your local mall.
We're branded.
Then we're grown and it don't stop there,
we showered with credit, we unprepared.
Calls and offers come and they don't stop
it don't take long to be worth more than you got.
And when you're online,
and now we're there all the time,
They see the thoughts and questions that roll through our minds.
Ladies in bikinis and kitties looking cute!
How did they know I dream of a yurt and team of malamutes?!
They follow me & you and see things we do
looking up some information
they see where we go and use the things they know to put us in a compromising position.
Branded.
How do we get out now?
Show now I want to stop now.
Yeah, I'm branded. You're branded.
Branded.
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6. |
Dr. God
05:47
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It's so easy to forget that we're all the same,
we're just players following the rules of different games.
But we share a land where half the people ain't getting outta bed!
Maybe it's something with the plumbing in their bodies --
might be a wire or two crossed in their heads.
Now I need a solid doctor that gets off on playing god,
a god that's gonna help me fortify this beastly bod.
But let me tell you about a few of the young people I know.
They live on things that are -- well, they're impossible to grow.
They got flaming cheetos and cool ranch doritos, too.
They gots monster drink and they be doin' mountain dew!
These kids keep get bigger, bigger and bigger every week.
What they have for breakfast I swear, it's gonna make you weep!
Now, Dr. God.
Dr. God, yeah.
Dr. God, whoa.
Dr. God, why
Dr. God, hey
Dr. God, ho
Dr. God, I'll tell you.
Dr. God, I don't know.
Nobody gonna help me help me in this state I'm in
but if feeling well ain't good for you, well who wrote that is a sin?
We squeeze maize into sugar, that doesn't sweeten our lives at all,
but congress gonna answer every time that king corn calls!
I know a man who said he didn't wanna invest in public health,
problem is he's first in line at the doctor's door when all he had left was time,
he said, "Give me all the medicine," he said "give me all the pills,"
he said, "give me the latest treatment, and honey I want all the frills!"
Doctor God.
Dr. God.
Dr. God, whoa.
Dr. God, why
Dr. God, hey
Dr. God, ho
Dr. God, I'll tell you.
Dr. God, now I know.
Hold on now people, I'm feeling faint
There is a lotta people who wanna tell it like just it ain't,
We feel people suffering. This is quite clear.
The bossman got a plan, now I'm gonna say it right here.
Some would just as soon shoot 20% of population and roll 'em in a ditch,
Shovel some gravel over 'em and then they'd be done with it.
Private healthcare will make you feel like you can buy a cure and it might even make you a dime,
But I wonder who's going to save your soul -- at the end of time?
Dr. God, yeah!
Dr. God. yes!
Dr. God, whoa.
Dr. God, why?
Dr. God, hey.
Dr. God, set me free.
Dr. God, I'll tell you.
Dr. God, now I see.
Thank you, Dr. God. You saved me!
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7. |
Song Out of Tune
03:11
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I hear her crying upstairs in our room
While I'm down here drinking since a quarter to noon
The ice in my glass cracks like a rifle salute
It's singin' a song out of tune
I might have gone up and knocked on her door
But I just don't know what I'd be doin' it for
Better to lie here laid out on the floor
Singin' my song out of tune
Singin' a song out of tune
Flat on my back staring up at the moon
Who's leavin’ me now
She'll be leavin' me soon
I'm singin' a song out of tune
In my lap there's a bottle, a bottle of Beam
I hoped and I prayed that I'd wash myself clean
But nothing's as simple as what it might seem
When you're singin' a song out of tune
Singin' a song out of tune
Flat on my back staring up at the moon
Who’s leavin’ me now
She'll be leavin' me soon
I'm singin' a song out of tune
And I don’t want to leave but I don’t want to stay
There's troubles that drinkin' won't make go away
But then drinkin' to trouble is what I do best
She said as she kissed my poor heart through my chest
Singin' a song out of tune
Flat on my back staring up at the moon
Who’s leavin’ me now
She'll be leavin' me soon
I'm singin' a song out of tune
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8. |
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The man who ate himself alive...
would you do it to survive?
He ate his finger, and his toe,
he ate himself so what's left could grow.
Once upon a time!
A sudden storm sank his ship,
the anchor tore his leg off at the hip.
Had a dark thought, but it would not be his last.
He certainly had to do something fast.
He sparked a fire and
made himself a drumstick, and
with that one grisly meal
he gave himself three days to think.
The one-legged man who lived on a rock.
He couldn't leave... good luck.
So he built a ship out of his bones...
the only way he could sail for home.
He ate an eyeball, but just one.
He could still squint and navigate by the sun.
He ate an ear, but just one.
Other ear hear sails flap if his knots came undone.
His ship of bones
creaking in the wind,
set sail, stretch skin.
Days on end,
rolling over oceans home,
on his ship of bones.
It started with his ankle, next was his thigh,
he satisfied his appetite and he survived!
He has one nostril so he can still smell you,
but he ate his tongue so he can't tell you
...that I'm the man who ate himself alive!
Alive!
The man who ate myself alive
I ate myself alive
Did I get bigger,
or did I disappear?
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9. |
Eight Animal Omelette
04:47
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Eight Animal Omelette
He was climbing with some friends up in the Teton Range
The Backcountry is no joke and the weather can suddenly change
Cornice broke off down he went dragging their food & friends with him
Ice axes in the snow the rope was getting pretty thin
His friends struggled to hold on from the ice ledge above
The man cut his rope a sacrifice of love
As he fell he saw a vision of a wonderous feast
A giant omellete made of eight beasts
It was an Eight Animal Omelette - I just cannot wait
- Eight Animal Omelette - Oh how I anticipate
- Eight Animal Omelette - I long to masticate
- Eight Animal Omelette - I won’t hesitate
He woke up at the bottom of a dark cravass
The storm raged above he knew he was surely lost
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
So dragged that food pack along to just fight those blues
Thinking of his hungry friends he found that he could move
He crawled and he crawled he had something to prove
Sliding down the glacier on the food pack
He dreamed what they’d eat when he made it back
- Eight Animal Omelette - I just cannot wait
- Eight Animal Omelette - Oh how I anticipate
- Eight Animal Omelette - I long to masticate
- Eight Animal Omelette - I won’t hesitate
As the hours went by night came to land
Still he pushed on pulling hand over hand
As the sun came up in the valley below he saw their tent
He knew they were hungry so he picked ingredients as he went
He snared a marmot and milked a mountain goat
Caught a fish with his hands and lured a frog with his throat
The smell of something wonderful roused them from bed
They were happy he was alive and happy to be fed
- Eight Animal Omelette - Venison Jerky
- Eight Animal Omelette - Wild turkey
- Eight Animal Omelette - Marmot Snout
- Eight Animal Omelette - Brook Trout
- Eight Animal Omelette - Fresh Goat Cheese
- Eight Animal Omelette - Honey From Honey Bees
- Eight Animal Omelette - Powdered Chicken Eggs
- Eight Animal Omelette - Two Frog Legs
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